I believe I can see the future, because I repeat the same routine

As every other college student, I can say I'm stressed. The rainy weather easily makes me depressed. When I am depressed I become a little antisocial.

All of this combines with big load of issues...

First of all, consider your opinions that infringe on the personal lives of others. I am content. My choice may not be what you choose but the difference is it is my life and in the end I live with my decisions, not you. If you are right and they are bad choices, I will figure it out the hard way. That's fine. At least then it will because I came to that conclusion, not because you came to that conclusion for me. This goes out to two people, somewhat a third, I have loved all my life and still love. It hurts me worse when it is people I love who tell me things that shouldn't be said, especially in certain company. Simple politeness would have made me feel just a little bit different.

Secondly, I found out some heavy, disturbing news about an EXTREMELY close relative of mine. At first I took it in stride, cautioning myself to really think about it before I made a decision about it. This morning my friend and I both exchanged hard news about our families. Because it was an exchange, my news had no affect on me because I was so involved in her story. Later I started to speak to my friend Claire about the first issue and then this second issue came about. I lost it.

I lost it in that I let myself get the better of me. I was already feeling pretty low which made myself extremely vulnerable to bad situations. All the issues I have in the back of my head became extremely relevant. I find myself knowing in a few years I will have to take control of something I should not have to be involved in until i am in my late 40s. My family member will need me in many, many ways. Those ways are extremely difficult and complicated. I began to foresee the future in my head. Everything began to snowball and reality truly reared its ugly head today.

Ice cream can't help, Lexapro can't and Pandora just further pissed me off. A usually light conversation with a friend finally made me confront issues I did not want to and it made them even more extreme with this latest piece of news.

I walk around with a facade. Only the people I love (family, friends, boyfriend) really know my secrets and the full extent of problems like these. If you saw me just now, you would pass me up, judging me, thinking I looked like a college kid time warped in a middle school height with eyes that say a thousand words but only to a few.

If I could go for a drive, I would. If I could fight someone, I would. If I could cry, I would. If I could hug, I would.

I can always count on writing to alleviate some pain.



P.S. I am trying to figure out who reads this blog besides Alyssa, Sarah and occasionally Chris. So leave me a comment (it could just say M or something) to give me an idea. If yall care...

wishes and dishes

Dishes

My aunt Monica was in town and she bought me a face cream from L'Occitane. I love their products because I have extremely sensitive skin and they have a wonderful hypo-allergenic line. I used to buy the face moisturizer (a little pricey). I also use their no rinse make up remover ($7-very cheap). Recently I bought Stilla tinted moisturizer to get the most bang out of my buck since I wear little foundation anyways. The tinted moisturizer didn't do much to help my dry skin out.

Monica bought me this face cream from L'Occitane. I love it! It also works well when I put my tinted moisturizer on right after. It is $53 but so far to me it is worth it and it will go a long way.


Monica also bought me some more Effaclar from a spa in Florida. This is a great acne wash. On this web site it is $19.95 and free shipping.


http://www.dermstore.com/product_Effaclar+Purifying+Foaming+Gel_1497.htm

Wishes

I listen to a wide array of bands and artists. There are a couple of CD's I really want to buy. And I don't have an IPOD (and my sister "lost" her old one) so i need to invest in one, especially since my car radio never ever works.

The first CD I am really want to buy is Muse's Resistance. I really like their sound, their creativity, their music, pretty much everything about them. I would love to see them live. Amazon gives you the option getting on the list ahead of the September 24th debut and having it shipped to you in short time.

Another CD I want to buy is If by Mindless Self Indulgence, MSI. I love their music especially when I am in a bad mood. It makes me happy. Many of their songs are sexually saturated but in a comical way. I love their songs Never Wanted to Dance, Shut Me Up, Issues and Get it up. I want to get this CD.

Another CD I want to buy is Marilyn Manson's Lest we Forget. It is Brian Warner's (Marilyn Manson) compilation of their greatest hits. It has his cover of Personal Jesus, Sweet Dreams, Mobscene and The Beautiful People on it. It has many of my favorites songs by him. I defend my affinity for Marilyn Manson. I think he is incredibly misinterpreted by people, misunderstood and under appreciated it. He is a legendary shock artist, he is extremely intelligent (look up an interview with him), and he is not a minister in the house of Satan. I repeat he is not a satanist. Don't believe me, read his autobiography. I did. You have a whole new perspective on him afterward and understand why Brian Warner became Marilyn Manson and you find yourself agreeing with him on certain issues.

I also want to buy the Italian movie Johnny Stecchino (toothpick Johnny). The Italian legend Roberto Begnini plays in it and directs it I believe. It also stars his wife Nicoleta. It is a true comedy filled with tons of situational irony. I also love his movie Life is Beautiful.


I also want a Boondock Saints T-shirt. I regret not getting the shirt my friend Claire has. There are so many I like. Here is one
http://www.boondockstore.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=B&Product_Code=210-01-1016&Attributes=Yes&Quantity=1

I hope when I am an adult I have a beautifully decorated house. I want to have plenty of natural lighting, antique furniture (which I already have a lot of) and nice accents. I am obsessed with these Napoleon bee bathroom towels from Ballard designs. I plan on getting these.

I am Mary's personality

My sister had to ask my mom fill out a profile like this and my sister had to do it to for her religion class. I thought their answers were terrible and scarily similar. So I will do it too.

1. What is my favorite book?
This is an extremely hard question to answer. I love reading. I have read many great books including the Harry Potter series. But if I had to choose one book I guess I would say Q&A by Vikras Swarup (the movie on which Slumdog Millionaire was loosely based). I could reread it over again and I recommended to several people (all of whom loved it). It was an excellent book.


As far as nonfiction goes, I have to say Dispatches from the Edge by Anderson Cooper. Cooper tells a very interesting story about his career; his mother sophisticate Gloria Vanderbilt marrying his father, a farmer from Mississippi; his brother's suicide and his experiences around the world.




2. Who are three people I admire whom I do not personally know.

First, easily, is Napoleon Bonaparte. He was an Italian. Bonaparte was an extremely intelligent military genius and Emperor of France. He ordained himself and his wife (pretty mind blowing in terms of having balls). Not only did he raise France's status and establish alliances other lands. Once he was exiled to Elba, he became ruler of Elba and escaped within the year back to France with full military support.



Secondly, Johnny Depp. Not only do I think he is gorgeous, I think he is a great actor. I have been fascinated with him since I saw Cry Baby at six years old. I like how he goes for the off beat roles like Edward Scissorhands, Jack Sparrow, and Sweeney Todd.



Third is John Kennedy. I believed he could have helped bring about the social reform the country desperately needed in the 60s. I believe he held ideas to bring America together and is what America had been waiting for. I am neither Republican nor Democratic (I suppose I'm more Republican) but I think John Kennedy was our remedy. We lost him too soon. Kennedy was also an excellent orator.



3. If I could play any character in a movie, who would I play?

I would play Kate Hudson in Almost Famous. I would have loved to have lived in in the late 60s-70s. The music had an air of freedom, sex and groove. Her character plays a "band aid"-someone who truly loves the music. Hudson really pulls of the free spirited hippie in love with a band member. I would have loved to play this role.



Another character I would do is Robin Wright Penn in Forrest Gump. Jenny lives through so many hardships and sometimes hit rock bottom. She lived her life like the wind, going any way it took her even if it hurt her and lead to her eventual death. Jenny could say she never missed out on living and she found true love in the midst of all her turmoil.



4. If I was any kitchen appliance, what would I be?
I would be a microwave because I like to do things in the easiest way possible.

Will work for food

I love The Daily Reveille. I love to read the paper, I love their coverage of LSU, and I especially love working for them. But...I also like to read the opinion columns once in awhile. This one especially struck a cord with me because I very much disagree with it.

http://www.lsureveille.com/opinion/freeman-of-speech-budget-woes-provide-fresh-excuses-for-prison-labor-1.1820097

I strongly disagree with this article. Most students have parents who go to work to provide a home for their family and food to survive on. Not prisoners. Not only do they commit a crime worthy for a long term prison term but they are rewarded with free board and food. Why is that? Because our taxpayers pay for prison inmates to enjoy life's commodities, commodities many other Americans are struggling to maintain. Excuse me but Elayn Hunt Correctional Center offers job opportunities in order to give prisoner's' work experience, job skills, ability to work to receive a GDE, participate in programs for literacy, and Louisiana Technical College programs which would later benefit a prisoner when looking for a job in the public workforce. Louisiana teenagers hardly have these opportunities so easily accessible and paid for. Dixon offers a wide array of vocational programs.

Why then should they not work to earn their keep? Seeing that we are providing them skills to assimilate into general public after their term and education to find a job to better themselves, we should also benefit from this relationship.

A relationship implies a mutual giving and taking. If we give prisoners food, shelter, education and skills to survive, the community should benefit from them. If LSU saves $600,000 by using prison labor, then so be it. Their work is to give back to the same community they took away from when they committed acts of crime.

Prisoners are lucky in general to be given such opportunity to gain vocational education while serving their term. States such as Florida have a 10.7% unemployment rate as of July, California 11.9%, and Louisiana with a 7.4%. (http://www.bls.gov/web/laumstrk.htm).

I fully support the use of prison labor in community beautification projects. These prisoners volunteer their time (which is pretty open and unlimited) in these work release programs so when they are up for parole, they have recommendations and capacity and willingness to work on their records. If they were unwilling to participate, they could occupy their time in their cell. All in all, it's a win-win situation.

My current wish list

Although I'm a broke college student, I still love to spend my hard earned money on clothes. Clothes aren't a temporary expense for me, I wear my clothes for a long time. I have come to the harsh realization I really need to save money to go to Europe next summer and to move out, there are still a few things I really want (but not necessarily need).This cord vest is from Old Navy and cost $24.50. Pretty reasonable price and I love vest. I think it is pretty cute.


These boots are from DSW and they cost $44.95 and the color is taupe. I think they would look cute with both jeans and a dress.

These curtains are from Urban Outfitters. I really like natural lighting and these are light enough to let some through. I think I would wait to get these for when I move out.

There are plenty of more things I want but I have a meeting to go to!

Arrivederci!

Brad Pitt for mayor of New Orleans...oh yeah and he is a basterd!

Ok y'all just to let you know this blog will be controversial and interesting. I am not worried about my audience since it consist of two friends of mine. Nevertheless, you are warned.

This post is on my decision to be for the legalization of marijuana. For starters, I have never done drugs. I promise.

Here are a few reasons why...

If weed was legalized, it would be sold openly in a controlled environment. The weed sold would have to pass standards much like the standards placed by the Food and Drug Administration on every drug already sold in America. Because of this, amounts of marijuana sold, quality, and quantity would be regulated.

If such restrictions were placed on marijuana, the war on drugs would drastically change. First of all those who smoked marijuana illegally would now be able to smoke it legally and it would put your underground drug dealers out of businesses. Crime rate would significantly change.

Those who would sell marijuana would have to be licensed, much like those who carry arms. There would be a protocal and a way to tract amounts sold and to whom. With such regulations, it would control the selling of marijuana from becoming a problem.

Obviously this would not lead to the legalization of other more harmful illegal drugs such as cocaine or heroin. Marijuana is not addictive, has just as much tar as cigarettes and less damaging to brain cells than alcohol and has little affect on the liver.

Marijuana has less chemicals than coffee (1,500 vs. 400) so there is no correlation between chemicals and danger. In every way, cigarettes and alcohol impairs the body more than marijuana. No one has died from marijuana to this day.

Rules such as not being able to drive under the influence of marijuana should apply just like alcohol as both are mind altering and slow down reaction time.

In my opinion, marijuana in small amounts would be the same as drinking in moderate amounts. Abuse of marijuana would have negative affects just as abuse of alcohol does.

That's my opinion. Legalize it, the "badass" appeal of it will go down. The availability of it will diminish the black market trade of it. And face it, cannabais has been used for over 2,000 years. George Washington and Abraham Lincoln smoked some.

I still haven't smoked it, I am merely understanding how it may become legal in the future.